For the first time since Jason, a guy has captured my attention. I’m not interested in him really but I feel myself going there, like I could see myself being into him and maybe even developing some sort of feelings down the road. Idk. It’s just been so long since any guy other then J gave me butterflies or anything, I thought he killed all my feelings but I think this is good. Not sure weather it’s this new guy or if it’s just finally been long enough I can truly separate myself from him and see possibilities with other people….or the fact a man hasn’t given me an orgasm in 6 months….
I still feel so damaged tho, not from just Jason but from my entire messed up life. I’m so scared to let anyone close or get to know me on a deeper level but at the same time that’s exactly what I want and need.
Oh well I’ll just see where things go, I still feel guarded and numb but maybe now I’m finally ready to let someone in. Or he just wants to get his dick wet and at least I’ll have a new fuck buddy. Honestly I’m good either way lol